Habits

The habits we want
Always seem to be the ones
Hardest to keep up.

I Wonder

I build up walls,
And wonder why
I go about unseen.

I retreat from the world,
And wonder why
I am so alone.

I close my heart,
And wonder why
I feel empty inside.

I look at my life,
And wonder how
I ended up this way.

I listen to my thoughts,
And wonder how
I became so disappointed.

I question my apathy,
And wonder how
I stopped caring.

I wonder – no answers.

The voices of the past
Echo all around us.
We just need to listen.

Realization
Crashes unexpectedly,
How alone I am.

Longing for something
I’ve never known wells in me,
Like tears in my eyes.

I long to be seen,
To be understood, be touched,
To be someone’s choice.

I clench my eyes shut,
Breathing deep, willing away
The ache in my chest.

A moment, then two.
Numbness settles over me,
And I move along.

I think they’d be disappointed.

Do you ever look back on your past selves,
And wonder what they would think,
Of who you are now?

Ah, bureaucracy,
The bloated system somehow
Running everything.

I watch in sheer awe,
The improbability
Of it all stunning.

How can the world run
Smoothly when inside chaos
Reigns with iron fist?

To love anyone is to love everyone,
For there is a beauty shared amongst us –
A beauty called humanity.

Time to sleep
To drift
To ride the endless sea
Of dreams

Time to escape
To run
To leave the terrible thing
Called reality

Time to go
To play
To frolic
To enjoy what you can
Till the time is up

Time to rouse
To rise
To get away from the comfort
Of fantasy
And reenter the world of
Actuality

Dreams of my future
Dance past me, away from me,
And I can’t stop them.

I must learn, accept,
That my life is not the one
I thought it would be.