“Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to my pitch today. I really appreciate this opportunity, and you won’t be sorry!”
“Go ahead with your pitch.”
“Right, right. So, everything is getting revamped, right? Beloved franchises, familiar stories, are all getting a reboot or an update. And I know you are already working on a bunch, and they all look great, but what if we take it a step further? Take your brand and elevate it, bring it into the modern world. What would that look like?
“I have the answer. You make them edgy. You make them modern, raw. You bring your properties into the twenty-first century. How might you do that? By taking your familiar, beloved story-lines and adding real-life challenges to them.
“Let’s look at Rapunzel, for example. Everyone knows the story – a couple want a kid, but are having trouble conceiving. They get a magical plant from a witch, who then demands the child and raises her herself in a tower protected by thorns and without a door. The girl’s hair is super long, etc. etc. When she grows up, a prince comes, they fall in love, and the witch ends up blinding him and Rapunzel runs away. She finds him, cries on his face, and his vision is restored. Happily ever after.
“But, let’s give it a modern twist. What if the couple can’t conceive, and finds a woman who will let them adopt her baby. But once she has the baby, she decides to keep it. She runs away, and raises the girl in almost complete social isolation, and there are years and years of emotional abuse, so the girl has these crazy-high emotional walls. See where I’m going with this?
“Eventually, she meets this boy, and he manages to scale those emotional and protective walls she’s put up. The mom figures out that she’s going to lose the girl, and convinces the guy that her daughter doesn’t love him, that she really hates him. Blinding him to the truth, get it? So he leaves, and the girl is devastated, and all her emotional walls crumble and she gets away from her crazy mother. She tracks him down, ‘heals’ his perception of her, and they live happily ever after.”
“That’s, well, quite the idea, but…”
“Oh, I have another one! How about Sleeping Beauty? You all know Sleeping Beauty – or do you? In this one, the girl becomes addicted to heroin. Get it, chasing the dragon? Anyway, instead of literally fighting off a dragon, the guy has to fight off her drug dealers, but she’s already overdosed and is comatose. So instead of a kiss, he gives her a shot of naloxone and saves her life. You can still have all the other bits, too, like instead of being a princess, maybe her family is super rich and some bitter rival gets her hooked in the first place. The three fairy godmothers could be her best friends that she confides in, and how the guy knows where to find her when it’s important.”
“I’m not sure if these are exactly what we are looking for…”
“Oh, but they are! Think of how edgy your brand would be! How unafraid to tackle real issues in the world! I think this would be great for your image. I have more ideas, too! Ariel could be an eco-terrorist who voices all of her organization’s online videos, so when she goes undercover on a whaling ship, she pretends she’s mute, but then falls in love with the owner’s son, and convinces them to stop whaling, even though a rival company is trying to start a merger.
“Or, or! You could remake the frog movie, and talk about systemic racism in the modern United States, or the one with all the ice, and make it more obvious it’s about LGBT+ issues, or – hey! Get your hands off me!”
“Security, please escort this person from the building. Thank you.”
“You can’t do this! I know people! Your boss is going to be so pissed at how-”
“I don’t care if Walt Disney himself crawls out of his cryo-chamber and tells me to listen to your pitch.”
“I knew it! I knew he was frozen. Is he in this building? Where is Disney, WHERE IS DISNEY?!”
“Security!”
© The Lightning Tower, 2020