“Just walk away, like you always do!”
Jess reared back like she’d been slapped. “Like I do? You’re the one who runs away whenever I try to talk to you about anything serious!”
Jake threw his hands in the air. “Well, when you just launch into things, with no warning, when everything is going fine, yeah, I’m gonna react!”
“Going fine? Going fine?! Jake, are you blind? Things haven’t been fine for a long time.”
“Then why don’t you just leave?”
“Maybe I should!”
They stood across from each other, breathing heavily, starting each other down.
Jake broke first, heaving a deep sigh and sagging, like a puppet with its strings cut.
“What happened to us?”
Jess was torn; part of her still raged at the whole situation, at the seeming futility of it all. But another part ached for how despondent, how lost, he seemed in this moment.
“I don’t know,” she sighed, sinking into a chair at the kitchen table. “It’s like we started living next to each other, not with each other.”
Jake nodded, sitting across from her. He picked up the salt shaker, and started rolling it back and forth in his hands.
“Remember how we used to go on date nights every week?” Jess asked, watching the shadows inch across the wall over his shoulder.
“Yeah, I miss those. It’s been, what, a year and a half since we stopped doing that?”
Jess looked at him, eyes wide. “It’s been that long?”
He nodded, smiling weakly. “Crazy how time flies, huh?”
“How did that happen?” she asked, more to herself than Jake.
He answered anyway. “We got busy. Job changes, moving, I don’t know.”
A long pause as they both digested that thought.
“I miss that,” Jake finally said, quietly.
Jess looked up at him, watching him stare intently at the salt shaker. She didn’t say anything.
“I miss how we used to just talk for hours. About everything and nothing.” He chuckled halfheartedly. “I don’t know how we had so much to say.”
“Everything was new and exciting,” Jess replied. “Not just in our relationship, in life. We were finally adults, everything was changing, and the world still seemed to have some good or promise in it.” She sighed. “Everything just sucks now.”
Jake snorted in agreement. “How are you doing with all that, by the way?” he asked, glancing up at her.
“Not great, honestly. I think I’m going to be laid off.”
“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”
She shook her head. “What, and have you be disappointed? Or worried about money? I was going to see what happened, maybe try and find a new job before telling you.”
“No wonder you’ve been stressed,” he murmured. He paused, taking a deep breath. “While we’re talking about stuff that’s going on, my anxiety attacks have come back.”
“What?”
He nodded absently. “For a month or so, now.”
Her brow furrowed in confusion and chagrin. “I didn’t notice…”
“You wouldn’t have,” he said, his voice a little shaky. “I’ve been hiding it from you.”
“Why?”
Jake sighed. “It’s embarrassing. I’d been doing so well, and it always stressed you out, and I just didn’t want to be a burden.”
Jess reached across the table, pulling his hand away from the salt shaker and holding it in hers.
“Don’t say that,” she said, her voice fierce. “You aren’t a burden, and if you’re having attacks, you should tell me. I could help.”
He smiled, rubbing his face with his free hand. “That’s sweet. But we both know you can’t really help.”
“I could hold you, at least.”
He just shrugged.
“Hey,” she said, laughing a little. “We’re talking. Not yelling.”
“I suppose we are,” Jake said, smiling.
“Why didn’t we try this sooner, instead of the whole yelling thing?”
“I don’t know,” he replied, squeezing her hand. “But I like this better.”
“Me, too.”
They smiled at each other, an invisible burden lifted from their shoulders.
“How about we order a pizza?” Jake said.
“From that place on the corner? Yes!”
Jess smiled faintly to herself as she watched Jake stand, grabbing his phone to order their food. Maybe there was hope for them, after all.
© The Lightning Tower, 2020