“You do realize,” Imperia said, pushing past Brian to enter the house, wrinkling her nose slightly at the smell, “that we made up all those legends.”
“Wh-wh-wh… You ca-ca-can’t do-o-o that,” Brian gasped, staring back at his front door in shock. “I didn’t inv-v-vite you i-i-in.”
“Didn’t you hear what I just said?” Imperia huffed. “We made all that up, so you couldn’t track us down.” She smirked. “It’s easy to hide in plain sight when you know what your enemy is looking for.”
Brian just gaped at her.
She sighed. “Do you need proof?” Imperia glanced around. “Cross on the wall, garlic at the thresholds, you did a fairly good job, if any of that actually worked. I can’t believe that someone took my profile seriously. Most don’t believe anymore.”
She turned back to him, and got a face-full of water.
“What the fuck?!”
“It’s ho-holy water!” Brian cried, digging around in his pockets. “And I have more where that came from!” He thrust a rosary in her face, almost hitting her in the eye.
Imperia wiped her face on her sleeve, shoving the beads away. This was getting less amusing.
“Look,” she said, her eyes darkening, the whites being consumed by her irises. “I’m just here about your Greg’s List ad.”
Brian stared at her. “My what?”
Imperia rolled her eyes. “What is it about humans? Is your hearing really that mediocre?” She continued before Brain could sputter out a reply. “Do you still have the 1968 red Camaro or not?”
Brian opened his mouth, then closed it. He nodded mutely.
Imperia smiled brightly, her fangs gleaming. “Great! Will this suffice as payment?” She swung a backpack off her shoulder, holding it out with three fingers.
Brian reflexively took it, and almost dropped it on his feet. “What the hell is in there?” he yowled, rubbing his arm. “Bricks?”
“Of course,” she said, looking confused. “How else would I pay for it?” She squatted down and opened the backpack, revealing a stack of gold bars.
“Is that real?” he asked, stunned.
She stood up and cross her arms, looking offended. “Of course it’s real! What, you’d think I’d try to stiff you?” She paused, then grinned again. “Stiff? Get it?”
Brian didn’t seem to get it.
She shook her head sadly. “No sense of humor. Well, do you have it or not?”
That seemed to shake some sense into him.
“Yeah,” he mumbled, still staring at the gold. “I’ve got it, hang on.”
Imperia squealed and clapped her hands as he rummaged around, digging through a box.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been looking for this piece,” she gushed. “Dario said I’d never get my hands on one. Proves him wrong.”
Brian hurried back over, a small plastic box in his hands.
“And it’s still in the packaging?” Imperia whispered, taking the box reverently in her hands and staring in at the tiny red car. “Wow.”
Brian tried to pick up the backpack again, but gave up after a few seconds. “How much gold is in there?”
Imperia didn’t even look at him. “More than you’d get from someone else, not as much as this is worth to me.”
Brian’s look of confusion intensified. “Why would a… that is… someone like you, spend so much on a matchbox car?”
Imperia shrugged, carefully tucking the box into another bag that dangled from her shoulder. “There’s not too much to do when you’ve been around as long as I have. Collecting is a fun hobby. Can even get competitive among my community, you know. Plus,” she continued, walking toward the door. “I like having them all lined up chronologically. It’s amazing to see the development over time.”
She blew him a kiss, then vanished out into the night.
Brian stood in the doorway for at least fifteen minutes, trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened. He finally closed the door, and spent another fifteen minutes staring at the backpack. What the hell was he going to do with gold bars than he couldn’t even lift?
© The Lightning Tower, 2020